Wonder by Emma Tobin

Guest post by my almost 16 year old daughter Emma:


“If you are a dreamer come in
If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar
A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer
If you’re a pretender come sit by my fire
For we have some flax golden tales to spin
Come in!
Come in!” ~ Shel Silverstein

Our world is almost indescribable. How do you put something that encompasses the entirely of our existence in a single word, one definition that’s supposed to explain everything? Here is a planet with seven billion people attempting to live at the same time, a planet with hundreds of languages, countries and religions; a race of people full of untold stories and brimming with secrets. I try not to put the world into words, because as Oscar Wilde said, ‘to define is to limit’.

Still, every so often I like to sit back and simply…wonder at the beauty of it all and the ugliness too. We’ve realised ourselves that there cannot be beauty without some imperfection in the equation, and while we have a lot of imperfection, without it we could not know beauty. Our world can be all at once grotesque and exquisite. We have committed terrible acts as a race, as individuals, but we’re also inherently beautiful. You’d be surprised how widespread this belief is; Marilyn Monroe said that ‘imperfection is beauty’.

This is a world full of dreamers, and that is perhaps our redeeming quality. I’ve always found that of every great power on this earth, dreams outstrip all. They are restricted only by our imagination, and they’ve led us from strength to strength. Of course, dreams aren’t always pretty things and in many cases they’ve led us to death and destruction.

Dreams are what drive us to be great, to always tell ourselves that we can go further, we can do better. The fact is that dreams have changed the world, for better and for worse, and they will continue to do so until we’re just a radioactive shimmer in the air. You can’t limit imagination or willpower and so you can’t limit those who dare to dream. Our minds span farther into the universe than technology will ever be able to transport us, and reside deeper in our hearts than any scalpel can probe.

Jesus Christ dreamed of a peaceful world. In His life He demonstrated how massive a task He has given to His followers. Born in a land where those who weren’t ignoring the problems were baying for blood as a way to resolve them, He told people to love their neighbours and even though it seems like a losing battle, every day His followers work towards a peaceful world.

We sweat and we bleed and we die for our dreams, because they’re worth it, and that’s what makes them more powerful than hydrogen bombs and guns and all those superficial instruments of power.

The world is an amazing place, but I believe that we don’t make it less beautiful by living on it. Some say that the world would be better off if humans never came to exist, but I think that despite our imperfections, without us the world would only be a sad shadow of what we have made it.

However, we have a duty to ourselves and to the world, which has given us room to grow and new places to discover, to make sure that we never end up as radioactive shimmers in the air. We have a duty to pursue world peace with single-minded determination and to keep our hopes and our dreams alive. We’re a long way from peace, and there’s still a chance that world peace may be impossible, that there’s no way to keep seven billion people happy at the same time.

Instinctively, I see two problems that are making peace impossible, and those two things are the reasons for innumerable atrocities throughout the turbulent history of international relations. They are ignorance and intolerance. Simple in themselves, but the 20th Century showed us just how easily these two things can put the world minutes from total annihilation.

Ignorance leads to fear, which is the reason that the Cuban Missile Crisis got so far out of hand. Intolerance built the concentration camps and fuelled the minds of those who committed terrible acts there. There’s no clear answer to achieving peace, and it will take many more decades of baby steps to get anywhere close to it, but I don’t think I’m alone in believing that when all is said and done it will be worth it.

You don’t have to be idealistic to realise that the world is a wonderful place, and a flawed place, but it is a beautiful place, so every so often I urge you to sit back and indulge in a healthy dose of awe.

Ends

Emma Tobin
2013

Guest post: Motherhood by Emma Tobin

Mothers are the hands that hold us up until we learn to fly, and often those hands have a hard time letting go of us, the baby bird whose wings are strong enough to carry it now. They’ve held it up even when their arms shook, even when they wanted nothing more than to throw down this tremendous burden and run away.

Sooner or later, we all lose our mother, and it happens to some sooner than it happens to others. Some of have to learn to fly faster than others (and some of us never learn to fly), but a mother isn’t something that can be completely taken from us. Whether or not you believe that there is a chamber in our heart nobody talks about where those we love reside, there is a connection between a mother and her children that defies life and death and distance. Even when the umbilical cord is cut and even when we’re forced out of safety and into the infamously unfair world, we are always connected to our mother.

Even if we never get a chance to get to know this person we see reflected in our eyes and in the way we smile, our mother can never truly leave us so long as we are the person that she loves more than her own life. So long as we are the people she’s fighting Velociraptors for in her nightmares, then she is the one person who will love us even if the rest of the world knows that we’re a complete brat.
Unfortunately, we can’t control the way our mother feels, and we can’t control it if they don’t really live up to their title. Which is why we learn that the person whose uterus we inhabited isn’t always the person we call mother. People aren’t perfect, and not everyone is strong enough to be a mother. So don’t limit yourself to the belief that just because this person who gave you their genes doesn’t feel the way they should, that you don’t have someone you can call mother. Just like everyone has a soul mate, everyone has someone who is willing to give them a mother’s love. They can be hard to find, and sometimes we’re already flying before we realise who was holding us up the whole time.

Mother’s Day is a tribute to those who call themselves mothers, who have given everything again and again just to get us off the ground. They don’t get to stop holding us up, but they get to see us look down and notice that without them we’d be falling.

Don’t hold back, spare no expense, but always remember that it’s not about getting the right DVD, it’s about the expression of love that you show even in handing over the wrong DVD. A single day each year isn’t too much to ask for the lifetime of dedication that goes into having a child. This woman gave up so much so that you could be alive, and the fact that you’re here means that even if a certain accident happened prior to your birth, it became a gift the first time she looked into your eyes, or heard you laugh.

You can’t imagine the kind of love that consumes a mother when she sees her child for the first time. It trumps anything they’ve felt before; they look into your eyes and they’re scared because they know right in that moment that they’d die for you. Without hesitation, without a second thought, because nothing on this earth could hurt them more than losing you.

Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be elaborate, because you could give your mother anything under the sun and it would be worth nothing compared to what your life is worth to her.

Copyright: Emma Tobin 2013

A guest post by Emma Tobin

This is a poem written by my daughter Emma. Emma is 15 and she is the most talented writer, as yet undiscovered but something tells me that 2013 is her year. This is a poem she wrote following our failed attempts at sending Chinese lanterns skywards on New Year's Eve 2012:

Brenda’s Recipe for roast spiced Winter vegetables

Ingredients:

Carrots

Parsnips

Red Onion

[You can also add squash and red pepper but it works very well with just carrots and parsnips]

Ground cumin

Ground coriander

Orange zest

Garlic (fresh or ground]

Brown sugar

Salt and pepper

Preparation:

Cut and prepare the carrots and parsnips into uneven wedge/chunks about 1 – 2 inches

Par boil the veg so as they are soft but with a little bit of resistance – you will finish them in the oven

Cut and slice the onion into large uneven chunks – you actually break it up into layers and cut the layers

Put a shallow dish of a decent amount of olive oil into an oven and heat until it is piping hot

The spice mix: 

While that is happening you can prepare the spice mix

Add two teaspoons of ground coriander and ground cumin to a dish/mixing bowl (I use a mug at times)

Add two teaspoons of brown sugar (light or medium rather than muscovado)

Zest a large orange and add that to the mix

Add a couple of grinds of salt and pepper from a grinder

Crush and mince one garlic clove or add half a teaspoon of dried garlic

Mix all of this together and set to one side

The smell should be fantastic

Back to the veg: 

Drain the parsnips and carrots very well – there should be no moisture as it will cool down the oil

Take the tray of oil out out of the oven and if you can place it over a ring of the hob turned up high so as the veg sizzle when they hit it. Then add the onion and mix around – all the time getting a good sizzle.

Finally add the mix of spices and seasoning and give it a good mix around.

The smell at this stage should be of pungent orange and garlic and spices.

Get the mix back into a hot oven and bake until the veg are all soft and caramelised and gorgeous. I always give it about 25-30 minutes.

Serving suggestion:

Serve with your Christmas turkey for a real heart warming taste of seasonal sumptuousness. For an even better effect, bring to the table straight from the oven and let people help themselves to large dollops. 

For larger gatherings you will have to increase the amount of veg and also adjust the spices accordingly. This is also great with roast chicken and roast beef all year round.

Brenda 

xx

Brenda’s Recipe for Christmas Day Stuffing

This serves 6 – 8 people

Ingredients:

• 3 sticks of celery
• One whole green/red apple
• Breadcrumbs
• One white onion
• One small yellow or orange pepper
• Salt/pepper
• Fresh herbs
• Butter

Method - 

Sweating:

• Chop the onion, pepper, apple and celery into small pieces – very small diced pieces are preferable.
• Put a small amount of cooking oil and a knob of butter into a pan
• Add the onions, pepper, celery and garlic. When they start to hiss and sizzle, turn them down to simmer. You are not so much cooking them but sweating them off.
• After a couple of minutes take them off the heat and place to one side

The Breadcrumbs 

• In a large mixing bowl add the breadcrumbs – you can buy ready-made breadcrumbs in the shops – go for one large bag. If you are making your own breadcrumbs I go by the rule of 2 slices per person and then 2 for the pot!
• Pour the breadcrumbs into the bowl and add some pepper.
• Then it’s time for the herbs. Fresh herbs are preferable – parsley, thyme, sage etc
• If you can’t be bothered with all that hassle then use a jar of mixed herbs and be generous. I would add 3-4 tea spoons of mixed herbs.
• Then add in some paprika for a nice wintery kick – about half a teaspoon. Make sure to add pepper to the mix at this stage but go easy on the salt – just a pinch or two.
• Now add in all the vegetables that you have already sweated in the pot and mix it all together.
• The smell should be divine. If it’s not then you need to add more herbs!
• Through a decent number of knobs of butter into the pot you sweated the veg in and heat until melted. Then add to the stuffing mix and watch it all coming together nicely.
• If it is looking a bit dry then de glaze the pan using a small amount of hot water and add that to the stuffing.

Cooking

• Place in a wide/shallow dish and cover with tinfoil.
• Bake for about 30-40 minutes and half way through the cooking take it out of the oven and mix it all up to make sure you are getting it all cooked through. About 10 minutes from the end of the cooking take off the tinfoil so as you get a nice crispy crust on the top.
• Serve to a very happy family on Christmas day.

And finally

• You can vary the fruit/veg that you add seasonally – cranberries work well or apricots instead of the apple. You can also try walnuts along with the apple and the celery.
• This is one of the nicest stuffing recipes you will ever taste.
• Save some [if you can] for a cold sandwich later in the day.
• Enjoy and let me know how it turned out.

Happy Christmas xx

Brenda Drumm 

The ABC of being a teenager

Just dropping in to recommend a new blog by my 15 year old daughter Emma. She is writing the ABC of being a teenager in Ireland in 2012. She has posted A - C to date and they are well worth a read. Take a look and share it:

http://abcofbeingateenager.blogspot.ie/2012/11/b-books.html

ENDS

7 simple rules for protecting my 15 year old online

Parents have to get involved with their children when it comes to using any sort of online space.

Would you give your 15 year old the keys of your car and just say 'off with you'? 
I don't think so! Yet so many parents are giving their kids smartphones, wifi access at home, laptops etc and yet they are not teaching them how to use them, how to behave online. 

Kids need to be given a set of rules about using any sort of online space:

My simple rules are:

1. Permission: My 15 year old is not allowed to join any new social media or other site without talking to me first 

2. Facebook: 

• She has been shown how to set her privacy settings to the max, shown where to go and what to do if someone manages to get to her with anything sinister, 
• She is only allowed to be friends with people she actually knows and is friends with
• She has been told not to post or tell anyone where she lives and to never meet anyone as a result of a connection online. 
• She has to stay friends with me on Facebook so as I can check over her shoulder so to speak every so often to make sure things are okay with her page. This is not about spying, it's not about intruding. It's about keeping her safe. 

In the last number of months she is using Facebook less and less as she says much of what is on it is nonsense and superficial. 

3. Twitter: I let her go onto Twitter this year and again many of the same rules apply here. I also gave her a full tutorial about it before she was allowed to tweet.

4. Acceptable behaviour: I explained to her what acceptable behaviour is on any/all social media sites and that she should never go onto a social media site when she is angry about something. Let them know that they do not have to take or put up with nasty comments or threats to them on any social media platform or in real life. Make them understand what is/is not acceptable behaviour online and in real life. Tell them to come to you with event the smallest concern and to NEVER let things escalate and get out of hand. Make sure you make time to hear them and to really listen.

5. Get onto social media yourself: My daughter knows that I am immersed in and knowledgeable about social media and that I understand it. The only reason I initially joined Facebook was to be one step ahead of the kids. If your kids are going on social media then you as the parent should be on it too.  

If you are allowing your kids on social media then you have to be there too to advise them and to protect them. If you are online then you might spot and stop something developing into an issue for them. 

6. Do not ban them from social media: I don’t think the answer is to keep your kids off social media as they will just find a way to be on it on a friend’s phone or at school. The key is to teach them about it, to tell them what is/isn’t acceptable behaviour online and to give them rules and instruction in how to use it.

7. One final piece of advice. Teach your children how to do a screen grab/screenshot so if they are bullied or if someone is behaving inappropriately towards them, they can screen grab the evidence. The instructions on how to take a screen shot follow:

Taking a Screenshot

To take a screen shot please complete the following steps:

For Windows
Press the "Print Screen" button.
Open Microsoft Paint. To do this, click Start > All Programs > Accessories > Paint.
Click inside the white part of the screen.
Go to the Edit menu and select Paste.
Click File > Save As.
In the box that pops up, change the "Save As" type to JPG.
After typing in a filename for your image, choose a location on your hard drive to save to, like the Desktop, and click "Save."

For Mac OS X
Simultaneously hold down the ⌘-Shift-4 keys.
Press the spacebar.
Click the open window that you wish to take a screen shot of. The screen shot should appear as a file on the desktop labeled "Picture 1."
Please note that in Mac OS X 10.6, the file is "Screen shot [date] at [time]."

For iPhone
Simultaneously press and hold the power and home buttons.
The screen will momentarily flash white.
The screenshot will appear in your "Camera Roll" album.

Use your phone's camera

Most kids now have a camera on their phone and if they are panicked and forget how to do a screen grab then get them to take a quick photo with their camera phone.

As a parent I can't bear the thought of another young life being lost because of cyber bullies and my heart goes out to that family – those two families who lost their beautiful daughters to cyber bullies in the last couple of weeks. 

It makes me very angry that the parents of the cyber bullies did not know where their children were online and what they were doing. Perhaps they didn’t care…..

It’s time to get serious parents and to know where your children are and what they are doing online. No one is going to do it for you so please take the time to teach, to monitor and to protect your children online.